Dallas to DC

Oh hormones. I loathe thee.

I don’t want to do this anymore.  I don’t like the dashing of expectations.  Will it always be like this no matter who I date?  Irritated.  Trying to enjoy it for what it is…  but being honest with myself on what it isn’t.  It’s dating.  Not a relationship. Not a marriage.  Do I know how to do anything else?  Take it easy, take it slow. Be in the moment every tells me. I am, I do.. but where do those lead?  I wish I hadn’t drank so much. Period.  Every time was loaded with alcohol. Time to try something different.

Ask questions – everyone likes to be heard/listened to.  Why are you so afraid to listen to people?  You want to tell stories, but you are afraid to let people in.  You get so awkward at this point.  Just be. Just be Just be.

Oh 29 – you have been my favorite number so far.

Surrounded by those you love – with hope in the horizon

Birthing of someone new, working through pain and following a new path

Making mistakes and learning from them

Divorce – a player on the adventure of this year

Paris, Morocco and Amsterdam – discovering new: self, people, places.. home.  Making memories that will last a lifetime, and perhaps more.  Seeing that no matter the culture,  religion or country how alike we really are.

Hawaii, Vegas and New York.  And with the end of winter, comes spring! New life after the death. Warmth of spring chases away the winter chill.

New love, new excitement. New kisses. Besos.  Makes me smile.  So soooo wonderful to feel that again.  To know that it can be a part of my future.  That I’m not bitter, that I’m on the mend.   I will be whole again someday.

Vanity Fair

NYC engagement sessions

Hamptons

Spanish perfume

San Francisco Adventures

Paris bookings

NYC bookings

First gallery show

Hiking Yosemite

Gypsy Road trips with my girlfriends

Loving my friends

Loving new friends

Sacramento Adventures

Loving my family

Gypsy living and purging of what is left.  Embracing the unknown and terrifying future.  Jumping off that cliff into the waves 50 feet below.  What a thrill, cold, shaky, exhilarating. I have to kick to stay afloat. Have to swim to get anywhere.  But you will make it.

New branding, new website

See what I mean? Too much good!  Who am I to deserve such things? What a charmed life I have!!  Grateful, thankful, aware.  I should perhaps be more humbled. Maybe I am. Just enough. It’s not that I am showcasing my life as look at me!   But out of disbelief..  “this is my life?!?!?!”

 

Favorite adventures/ stories of my life:

Memories as a child – being mature beyond my years. Cooking cleaning, taking care of children, create meal plans, grocery shopping.

“Rebellious teenager” – cutting my skirts into mini’s

Being an unofficial boyscout

Competitive with my brother –  graduating same year

Being a tomboy growing up

Raising 5 kids

Spending a summer in Sweden

Spending a winter in paris

Partying like a rockstar. Literally.

Student body president – aka tfl

Working in the capitol at 20

The Frenchman

The Spaniard

The Australian

Gypsy lifestyle

My photography career

Being married

Being arrested

Political years – running campaigns, working for non profits, running non profits as a teenager

Loving on kids in Mexico

Traveling the US as a kid with my grandparents in a trailer

Camping with my family across the US

Playing basket ball

Lobbying in the capitol

Speaking in front of hundreds of people for a cause

Creating from my soul.  Emptying it out until there was nothing left.

……Still waiting for it to refill.

 

You have hugged my soul sweet man.  In ways you may never know.  For just being you.  Even if I was to never see you again, I can only smile at the path that we shared together for this time.. even though that path was 3000 miles and 3 hour time difference apart.  You have opened my eyes, broadened my world and given me some of the sweetest besos a girl could ask for.  They are memories I will cherish my whole life. Thank you.

Your calm demeanor, kindness and the way that you love and take care of those around you. Your laugh, your smile, your siliness.  Your motivation, discipline and energy are contagious and inspiring and I love how you embrace life.  When I’m with you I am fearless. ( I swam in the ocean no less!)  This is how I see you.  I want to know more. But I can also let you go and send you on your way.  As much as I want it, I don’t think you are for me.  The language barrier, my gypsiness, my incompleteness….  Perhaps it is just not meant to be.   BUT ..   I guess we shall see……..